Image courtesy of Jonah's
Image courtesy of Nicole Anderson Photography
Image courtesy of Pippin
Image courtesy of Blumenthal Photography
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your reception
You've heard the expression 'I love you so much I want to tell the whole world!'... in a way that's what your reception is for - it's a celebration with friends and family of the love and happiness you've found and the lifetime commitment you've made. It's also a great opportunity for your families and friends to meet, get to know each other and join together to wish you both health, wealth and happiness for the future.
In general, the formality of your reception will be in keeping with your ceremony. If you're planning on a very formal, large, church wedding, then it follows that your reception will be a formal sit-down style. If your ceremony is in the morning you could have an elegant lunch reception. Early afternoon ceremonies are usually followed by a finger buffet. If you plan to have a late afternoon ceremony then generally this is followed by a sit-down dinner. However, it's entirely up to you - it's your celebration.
The most important determinant of a successful reception is careful planning.
Our guidelines will help you plan your function. You should also seek the advice of the professional and experienced staff at reception venues and catering companies. You'll find them exceptionally helpful. Planning a reception is new to you but they've been organising them for years. Ask lots of questions and be guided by their advice.
It will take time and some effort to organise your reception, but it's also great fun to see a dream become a reality. You're working towards being the star at the best party of your life...
choosing the perfect setting
Let's consider the choices... there are reception centres, hotels, restaurants, clubs, halls, historic houses, floating venues, parks and gardens, beaches and there's also home! Some will hold less than 50 people, others a cast of thousands... some have limited menus, some boast culinary delights fit for a royal banquet and for others you'll need to organise your own caterers.
venues
reception venues with catering
Reception centres, hotels, restaurants and clubs are good choices if you want one-stop reception shopping. A great deal of the organisation is done for you. They can usually offer a whole range of services such as music, flowers, decorations, the cake and cake table, cars, an M.C., and even invitations.
Although there are plenty of venues to choose from, you would be wise to book as far in advance as possible - in fact, check out the availability of the places you are interested in before you set the date. You may decide to marry on a Friday, Sunday or mid week in order to have the venue you've set your heart on.
Homework! Homework! You want the venue that expresses your individuality and has the party atmosphere you believe suits your style. Look, too, at the practical side of things. What are the charges involved? Are there any surcharges? Do you pay for staff and linen hire? Is the venue large enough? What services does the venue offer? What is its range of menus? Will you have a private room? Is there a place to have pre dinner drinks? A dance floor?
reception procedure
Most people think that etiquette is one single way of doing things correctly but in the case of wedding receptions this is wrong. There are a million different ways of 'doing it right'!
We've set out the guidelines for you but there are no hard and fast rules. Basically, do whatever suits you and what works best in your chosen venue, in line with the style and mood you wish to create.
order of the reception
Traditionally the pattern of events is as follows:
1. All arrive at reception.
2. Happy Greetings with your guests (may be a receiving line).
3. More photographs.
4. Celebration drinks!
5. Dinner is served (can be preceded by grace).
6. Toasts and speeches.
7. Best man reads messages - lettergrams, faxes, cards, emails etc. (telegrams no longer exist).
8. Cutting the cake.
9. Newlyweds waltz. Joined by parents, attendants, then everyone joins in.
10. Happy couple mingle.
11. Bride throws bouquet to hopeful maidens.
12. Groom tosses garter to eager young men.
13. Hugs and tears at farewell time.
14. Bride and groom float away to an 'unknown' destination.
15. Parents farewell guests.
16. All go home with happy smiles on faces!
welcoming your guests
In recent years the receiving line has only been carried out in very formal weddings. It makes guests wait for a long time in a queue and you can't say very much to each person anyway. Originally the receiving line was designed as a systematic way of greeting guests and making sure that they were introduced to members of the wedding party that they did not know.
If you wish to have a receiving line the traditional order of the line is:
- Bride's Mother and Father
- Groom's Mother and Father
- Bride and Groom
- Bridesmaids or Chief Bridesmaid (optional)
If formality isn't for you, instead of a receiving line you can simply mingle with the guests as they're enjoying pre-dinner drinks and savouries and then make sure you make a visit to every table during the proceedings. Of course, if you're not planning a grand wedding but having an intimate little affair, communication will be easy as you'll have more time for individual conversations.
food and beverage choices
Most brides and grooms today, because they are generally older when they get married and have higher incomes, have had access to high quality food in many restaurants, both here and overseas. As a result, they are much more discerning than couples in the past when it comes to choosing the food and alcohol for their 'once-in-a-lifetime' wedding feast.
The type of food and alcohol served at the wedding reception depends on the time of day chosen to have the function. Although evening weddings are popular, there are a number of other alternatives to consider.
Breakfast
For example, the wedding breakfast has always been considered to be a lunch but can also be held anytime in the early part of the day. The food can range from breakfast food - such as omelettes, croissants and fruit followed by wedding cake and champagne - to a light luncheon.
A wedding brunch could start as late as midday, commencing with champagne and finger food and then perhaps a combination of breakfast and lunch foods could be served - a wide range of muffins could be considered which would complement fresh fruit, continental pastries and quiches, followed by dessert.
Lunch
The wedding lunch is more like an informal sit-down dinner and can be held anytime in the early afternoon. It normally takes the form of a light three course meal, preceded by champagne and finger food while the guests are standing. Soup is always a popular starter with perhaps fish or chicken as the main course, served with a chardonnay or light red wine. A light fruit dessert is always a great idea for a luncheon - this can be served with more champagne. Coffee is then served with the wedding cake. If your celebration is a casual affair, why not have a seafood banquet or BBQ!
Cocktail
Cocktail party receptions are later in the afternoon - light finger food with a selection of alcoholic drinks is usually served to guests, who are mostly standing. A buffet of slightly more substantial food could also be served. The advantage of a cocktail wedding reception is that it gives guests the opportunity to mingle more easily without restrictive seating arrangements.
Wedding Tea
Another alternative is to have a wedding tea which can be served in the afternoon before the cocktail hour, say 3 or 4 o'clock. This can be kept as simple as you wish with perhaps only finger sandwiches and savoury tartlets followed by wedding cake and champagne for the toast to the bride and groom. The wedding tea is ideal for those on a budget or perhaps an intimate 'second wedding' celebration.
Dinner
The sit-down dinner is usually the most formal of wedding receptions and can be the most expensive. However, it is also the most popular, especially with 'first' weddings. Dancing normally takes place after dinner and guests are usually less inhibited than during daytime celebrations (no doubt due to the amount of alcohol consumed!). The night-time reception usually lasts for about four to five hours, much longer than day receptions.
The alcohol served can be what is normally served at a party - wine, beer, champagne (and usually mineral water, lemonade and orange juice). Perhaps cocktails such as strawberry daiquiris or champagne cocktails can be served before dinner. The food can be as lavish as you wish, with anything from three courses upwards, and a choice of a fine white wine or red wine to have with dinner is usual. Champagne is obviously served for the toasts, then coffee with wedding cake and perhaps port. In addition, a dessert wine can be served with dessert.
Buffet
A buffet dinner is another alternative, usually less formal than a sit-down dinner. The guests are freer to move around and socialise. Two important points to remember if you want a buffet reception are that firstly the organisation of serving people is critical - there's nothing worse than long queues of people at a buffet table - and secondly the presentation of food is also critical - it must look appealing - buffets can look dreadful... or they can look impressive, with a wide range of fresh seafoods, roast meats and attractive dishes, for example. Table decorations can be simple or dramatic, such as a spectacular ice carving or floral arrangement.
Whatever type of reception you are thinking of, it's wise to spend time talking to the professionals - the managers and wedding co-ordinators of the reception venues. They will offer their expert advice on menu planning, beverages, seating, timing and decorations. Go through all the details in advance and of course all the costings and get everything in writing so that there are no misunderstandings. And then when the big day finally arrives, you can relax and know that everything will run according to plan.
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